Burma-Shave Ads

(All 600 available in "The Verse by the Side of the Road")


IF CRUSOE KEPT
HIS BEARD MORE TIDY
HE MIGHT HAVE MET
A LADY FRIDAY
BURMA-SHAVE

SPECIAL SEATS
RESERVED IN HADES
FOR WHISKERED GUYS
WHO SCRATCH THEIR LADIES.
BURMA-SHAVE

YOUR SHAVING BRUSH
HAS HAD ITS DAY
SO WHY NOT SHAVE 
THE MODERN WAY
BURMA-SHAVE

FROM NEW YORK TOWN
TO PUMPKIN HOLLER
IT'S HALF A POUND
FOR HALF A DOLLAR.
BURMA-SHAVE

IF YOUR HUBBY
TRUMPS YOUR ACE
HERE'S SOMETHING THAT
WILL SAVE HIS FACE
BURMA-SHAVE

UNLESS YOUR FACE
IS STINGER FREE
YOU'D BETTER LET
YOUR HONEY BE
BURMA-SHAVE

TO KISS A MUG
THAT'S LIKE A CACTUS
TAKES MORE NERVE
THAN IT DOES PRACTICE
BURMA-SHAVE

HENRY THE EIGHTH
SURE HAD TROUBLE
SHORT TERM WIVES
LONG TERM STUBBLE
BURMA-SHAVE

BE A MODERN
PAUL REVERE
SPREAD THE NEWS
FROM EAR TO EAR
BURMA-SHAVE

SHE PUT A BULLET
THRU HIS HAT
BUT HE'S HAD CLOSER
SHAVES THAN THAT
BURMA-SHAVE

THE BEARDED LADY
TRIED A JAR
SHE'S NOW A FAMOUS
MOVIE STAR
BURMA-SHAVE

CANDIDATE SAYS
CAMPAIGN’S CONFUSING
BABIES KISS ME
SINCE I'VE BEEN USING
BURMA-SHAVE

BEN MET ANNA
MADE A HIT
NEGLECTED BEARD
BEN-ANNA SPLIT
BURMA-SHAVE

GRANDPA'S BEARD
WAS STIFF AND COARSE
AND THAT'S WHAT CAUSED
HIS FIFTH DIVORCE
BURMA-SHAVE

WITHIN THIS VALE
OF TOIL AND SIN
YOUR HEAD GROWS BALD
BUT NOT YOUR CHIN
BURMA-SHAVE

JUST THIS ONCE
AND JUST FOR FUN
WE'LL LET YOU FINISH
WHAT WE'VE BEGUN
? ? ?

THE CHICK HE WED
LET OUT A WHOOP
FELT HIS CHIN AND
FLEW THE COOP
BURMA-SHAVE

'TWOULD BE MORE FUN
TO GO BY AIR
IF WE COULD PUT
THESE SIGNS UP THERE
BURMA-SHAVE

IF HARMONY
IS WHAT YOU CRAVE
THEN GET
A TUBA
BURMA-SHAVE

DINAH DOESN'T
TREAT HIM RIGHT
BUT IF HE'D SHAVE
DYNA-MITE!
BURMA-SHAVE

THE HOBO LETS
HIS WHISKERS SPROUT
IT'S TRAINS–NOT GIRLS
THAT HE TAKES OUT
BURMA-SHAVE

IF WIFIE SHUNS
YOUR FOND EMBRACE
DON'T SHOOT THE ICEMAN
FEEL YOUR FACE
BURMA-SHAVE

A PEACH LOOKS GOOD
WITH LOTS OF FUZZ
BUT MAN'S NO PEACH
AND NEVER WAS
BURMA-SHAVE

LISTEN, BIRDS
THESE SIGNS COST MONEY
SO ROOST AWHILE
BUT DON'T GET FUNNY
BURMA-SHAVE