OK, so men have a few
Please note.. These are all
numbered '1 ' on purpose!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints
do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
1. Christopher Columbus did not need
directions and neither do we.
1. Men see in only ten colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
a color. Pumpkin is a fruit, not a color. We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be
scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
1. When we go out somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.
1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I'll have to sleep on
the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.