Dog's Diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon
- Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
Cat's Diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their
furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded— must try this at the top of the
stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan…
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of
inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it
to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant
and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
current placement in the metal room, his safety is unfortunately assured.
But I am patient, I can wait,
it is only a matter of time...