Yogi Berra Quotes Source

"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else."

"It's deja vu all over again."

"Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't go to yours."

"Mantle can hit just as good right-handed as he can left-handed. He's just naturally amphibious."

"The future ain't what it used to be."

"Ninety percent of putts that are short don't go in."

When someone mentioned that the Houston Astrodome was well ventilated, Yogi responded, "Yeah, lots of air, too."

Telegram to Johnny Bench when he broke Yogi's record for most home runs by a catcher: "Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken."

As they were winning an important golf match,Yogi said to his partner, "Don't count on me. I'm playing way over my mind."

After a poor golf game, Yogi remarked, "I think they just got through marinating the greens."

"You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what is left."

On seeing three of his players in the locker room wearing Cone Head hats, Yogi said, "Those guys make a pair."

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing."  (after getting hit in the head during the 1934 World Series.)

"I made a wrong mistake."

After seeing the opera Tosca, Yogi remarked, "I really liked it; even the music was nice."

"Never answer an anonymous letter."

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

After having received a check for $25.00 made out to "Bearer" from Jack Buck in payment for having appeared on Jack Buck's radio show, Yogi complained, "How long have you known me and you still can't spell my name?"

While signing autographs, a woman called out, "Hey Yogi, do you have a minute?" He asked, "For what?"

Joe Pepitone asked Yogi for ten dollars for breakfast. After thumbing through a large roll of bills that he pulled out of his pocket, Yogi said, "I don't have a ten."

"He's a big clog in their machine."

A teammate in the clubhouse told Yogi he was foolish for buying a lot of insurance, and asked what good all that money would do him. Yogi replied, "I will get it when I die."

When told by his son that the man was there for the Venetian blinds,Yogi's replied, "Look in my pants pocket and give him five bucks."

When talking to Nolan Ryan about the 1969 Mets, Yogi said, "We were overwhelming underdogs."

After finishing a comic book one night, Yogi wanted to know about the book his roommate/teammate Bobby Brown was reading (a medical textbook). "How did your's come out?" he asked.

Joe Page told Yogi that Enos Slaughter had been jumping in and out of the bushes so much looking for quail that he got a cyst on his back. Yogi wanted to know, "What kind of a bird is a cyst?"

Yogi was giving directions to Yogi Berra's Hall of Fame Racquetball Club in Fairfield, New Jersey. "It's not too far," he said, "it just seems like it is."

While flying from New York to Los Angeles, Rube Walker, the Met's pitching coach, asked Yogi what time it was. "Do you mean now?" Yogi asked.

Former president George Bush remarked that Texas was very, very important in the coming election. Yogi replied, "I know, Texas has a lot of electrical votes."

Whenever someone would tell Yogi that he wan't too good looking, Yogi's standard response was, "You don't hit with your face."

When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars, Yogi replied, "If the guy was poor, I would give it back."

Referring to a Steve McQueen movie, Yogi remarked, "He must have made that before he died."

When he heard that a Jewish mayor was elected in Dublin, Yogi commented, "Yeah, only in America can a thing like this happen."

New York mayor John Lindsay's wife, Mary, told Yogi that he looked nice and cool. He replied, "You don't look so hot yourself."

"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be."

"That's his style of hitting. If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

During a speech at "Yogi Berra Night" held for him by the St. Louis Cardinals, Yogi said, "Thank you for making this night necessary."

A teammate told Yogi that he was waiting for Bo Derek. "I haven't seen him," Yogi said.

"A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road."

As a young player, Yogi was questioned what size hat he wore. He replied, "I'm not in shape yet."

Comment on the Yankee's chances in 1964, Yogi said, "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

Phil Garner told Yogi that he had used a Yogi-ism. "What's a Yogi-ism?" asked Yogi.

Yogi once made a commercial for Jiffy Lube. When asked what he was doing, Yogi replied, "I've been doing a commercial for Linseed Oil."

When introduced to "writer" Ernest Hemingway, Yogi asked, "Yeah, what paper do you write for, Ernie?"

Yogi was sitting in the back seat of a friend's car. When it started to rain, Yogi asked, "Where's that coming from?"

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

"All pitchers are liars or crybabies."

The waitress asked Yogi if he wanted his pizza cut into four or eight slices."Better make it four," he said, "I don't think I can eat eight."

When asked if he had had an audience with the Pope, Yogi said, "No, but I met with him."

Yogi was asked if the word Yoo-Hoo was hyphenated. "No, ma'am," he replied, "it's not even carbonated."

In discussing the fact that GM had stopped making the rear-engine Corvair, Yogi said, "They are not going to make them next year, so I am going to buy a Volkswagen or a foreign car."

A reporter asked Yogi if he were apprehensive during a 1973 playoff game won by Pete Rose with a 12th-inning home run. "No," he said, "but I was scared."

Yogi was asked if he takes a nap before a night game. "I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four," he said.

During the 1961 World Series against the Reds, Yogi commented on the glare of the sun in left field at Yankee Stadium: "It gets late early out there."

When asked what he liked best about school, Yogi replied, "Closed."

As manager of the New York Mets, Yogi said of the 1973 pennant race, "It ain't over 'til it's over."

"You can see a lot just by observing."

"Baseball is ninety percent mental; the other half is physical."

"Swing at the strikes."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"If you don't catch the ball, you catch the bus home."

Yogi once worked as headwaiter at Rugerio's, a popular St. Louis restaurant. More recently he commented, "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

"If people don't want to come to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?"

"How can you think and hit at the same time?"

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future."

"I didn't say those things I said."